Single Parent Chat.net | Single Parent Forum - Blogs http://www.singleparentchat.net/forums/blogs/ Single Parent Chat.net for single parents with single parent forums, single parents support groups, single parent blogs, and single parenting articles. en Fri, 21 Nov 2008 01:19:59 GMT vBulletin 60 http://www.singleparentchat.net/forums/images/misc/rss.jpg Single Parent Chat.net | Single Parent Forum - Blogs http://www.singleparentchat.net/forums/blogs/ A Great day of fishing! http://www.singleparentchat.net/forums/blogs/singleparentdad/10-great-day-fishing.html Mon, 11 Aug 2008 15:47:21 GMT We decided to go fishing this sunday. The weather was a little cooler than it's been and so thought it was a good chance to go enjoy the sun.

After breakfast, I asked Michael "do you want to go to the toy store (have to get a gift for a friend's birthday party this saturday) or do you want to go fishing?". To my surprise, he said fishing! He has never been fishing before so not sure where he picked up the whole concept of fishing but he was sure enthusiastic about it.

We packed up some drinks and snacks along with the requisite sunblock and hat. I had heard of a rainbow trout farm so off we went.

When we got there I was pleasantly surprised at how tranquil it was. Three ponds with different sized trouts in each. We picked the one that had trouts 1 to 5lbs because 1) I didn't think he would be able to reel in fish any bigger, and 2) it was the only one shaded by trees.

We started off with corn as bait and caught one about 2 1/2 lbs. I had to reel him in but Michael had the net and insisted on scooping him out of the water himself. Once in the bucket, he was truly fascinated by the fish! The fish ended up upside down in the bucket so that he could see the fish's gill moving. He came over to saying "look daddy, fish is talking" pointint to the gill.

We caught a couple more using worms as bait.

Afterwards, we spent some time feeding the "duckies" and seeing what others had caught. Michael would look into their buckets and compare how many they had to what we had caught. If he saw someone had less than us, he would immediately tell them "we caught three fish". Funny how kids can be competitive that way.

We had the fish cleaned and iced with Michael saying "let's go eat it!".

A great day of fun and photo ops! ]]> Singleparentdad http://www.singleparentchat.net/forums/blogs/singleparentdad/10-great-day-fishing.html My little monster truck driver and a thanks to the Chinese people... http://www.singleparentchat.net/forums/blogs/singleparentdad/9-my-little-monster-truck-driver-thanks-chinese-people.html Tue, 05 Aug 2008 16:12:51 GMT It was my son's 4th birthday this past week. We ended up having 3 birthday parties for him...1 with my immediate family, 1 with friends and classmates, and 1 at his daycare...and I am assuming his mother probably had one with her family. By the end of them, I was jokingly thinking despite the difficulties of divorce on a child, it does have certain "fringe benefits" I guess. ;)

For his "main" present, I got him a Power Wheels Ford F-150 Harley Davidson truck. 2 forward speeds with "monster traction" and reverse plus a truck bed. It also has a radio with reception that is quite good. Overall the quality is excellent with assembly that was a snap. It was listed at $349.99 at Toysrus.com but when I went to get it, it rang up at the sale price of $279.99! Nothing like catching an unexpected sale! :)

My son picked up the driving surprisingly quickly. Pull too close to the curb, put it in reverse. Want to run over a stick, swing around to make a wide enough turning circle to line the truck up. He even knew how to pull it into the drive way and swing into the garage parking it next to "daddy's car".

What's really cute was how he would do the things adult drivers do while driving. He would steer with one hand while adjusting the radio or reaching for a drink from the cup in the cupholder. He would even pretend he was talking on the cellphone! And of course, he had to have his sunglasses. lol I felt the gift was a little expensive but those moments are truly priceless.

Then I started thinking about the price and how much more it would have cost had it been made somewhere other than China. I, like many parents I'm sure, had to sort through many of his toys for the lead warnings. But overall, how much more can we afford, especially as single parents, because of the fact that these things are made over there? I read somewhere that the U.S. living standards wouldn't be what it is were it not for Chinese made products. And I tend to believe it. So from my son and I, we would like to thank the Chinese people who are laboring to create such great memories for us at prices we can afford.:dance: ]]> Singleparentdad http://www.singleparentchat.net/forums/blogs/singleparentdad/9-my-little-monster-truck-driver-thanks-chinese-people.html Single parenting and blurring of the traditional mother/father roles http://www.singleparentchat.net/forums/blogs/singleparentdad/8-single-parenting-blurring-traditional-mother-father-roles.html Wed, 23 Jul 2008 15:52:24 GMT I was thinking about a blog post at lohud.com regarding the traditional views about mother/father roles in raising our kids.

I've had custody of my 3 yr old son now for almost 1 1/2 years, and during that whole time, I never really thought about whether the "roles" I've had to assume were “mother or father centric”. They were and are things that I feel or know needs to be done due to the situation life has thrust upon me and my son.

Whether it’s doing household duties, holding hands, giving him a big hug and saying “I love you” around other people, or chasing him around the house to try and make sure his hair is brushed, the thought that such things might make me appear to be “feminine” or “soft” never enters the mind.

As single parents I think we have so many things to be concerned about and deal with that allowing societal stereotypes to play any part in our lives is counter-productive and certainly not in the best interest of our kids.

Would the "traditionalists" see or perceive me with a skewed view? Perhaps. Does it make a difference in what I do for my son to make sure he is happy and well adjusted? Not in the least. ]]> Singleparentdad http://www.singleparentchat.net/forums/blogs/singleparentdad/8-single-parenting-blurring-traditional-mother-father-roles.html Birthday parties http://www.singleparentchat.net/forums/blogs/singleparentdad/7-birthday-parties.html Wed, 23 Jul 2008 14:31:19 GMT My son will be turning 4 soon so I've been thinking about birthday parties. He attends daycare 2 days a week during the summer and they have a program where the parent can plan a party during daycare hours. I will be doing this.

I was also going to plan a more "formal" party with invites to all his school classmates and friends. I was thinking of having it at a place called LittleGyms.

But it seems his mother has also planned a party as well (at Monkey Joe's...not a big fan of Monkey Joe's because of the large variance in the age of kids who are there at any particular time. Makes me nervous seeing him bouncing around with kids who look as old as 14 or 15.).

Now I am debating whether I should have another party for Michael or just go with the 2 parties already planned.

How do other single parents handle birthdays? Do you just plan one party and both parents attend? Or does each parent have their own parties? ]]> Singleparentdad http://www.singleparentchat.net/forums/blogs/singleparentdad/7-birthday-parties.html Public school vs private school for toddlers http://www.singleparentchat.net/forums/blogs/singleparentdad/6-public-school-vs-private-school-toddlers.html Tue, 22 Jul 2008 16:05:47 GMT My son attends a private school that has a pre-k program. The school is relatively new (around 10 years old) and the student body (pre-k to 12th grade) less than 2,000.

It is in a fairly affluent fast growing area so I expect it will continue to grow and evolve.

They are having a summer camp which Michael is attending. After the dropoff, one of the mothers and I got to talking about the school curriculum. She was concerned whether the school followed a similar curriculum as the public school because she didn't want her child falling behind.

I told her that I believed for a school to get a charter it had to submit a curriculum that had to be approved by the dept of education.

But more importantly, I told her that for me, the most important part of the school was the loving environment, particularly for children Michael's age. I think the environment is as important, if not more, than the actual curriculum for toddlers.

The children have to feel safe and comfortable to help open up their minds for learning. And during these formative years, the emotional aspect of education and school has to be positive to generate enthusiam for the future.

This isn't a slight against public schools. There are some excellent public schools with pre-k programs. And with teachers who take pride in their jobs. But I think it's a numbers thing; meaning the sheer size of some of the public schools prohibit indiviualized attention which can translate, for a toddler, to less "love".

I think there comes a point where curriculum takes precedence over the environment. In my opinion, I think that point is probably around 2nd or 3rd grade. When Michael has reached that point, I will reevaluate his educational choices.

For now, I am so thankful to all the teachers at Michael's current school for showing my son the love and caring.:gc: ]]> Singleparentdad http://www.singleparentchat.net/forums/blogs/singleparentdad/6-public-school-vs-private-school-toddlers.html <![CDATA[To Michael on this Father's day...]]> http://www.singleparentchat.net/forums/blogs/singleparentdad/5-michael-fathers-day.html Mon, 16 Jun 2008 20:01:55 GMT Greatest gift for Father's day.

Thank you for the hugs and smiles that brighten my days and nights. Not matter the stress and worries of the day, when I see your wonderful face I think of nothing else except how lucky I am to have you in my life. To feel your hand in mine as we walk, and as you lead me to something new and wonderous that catches your innocent eyes is the greatest gift of all on this Father's day my beautiful son. ]]> Singleparentdad http://www.singleparentchat.net/forums/blogs/singleparentdad/5-michael-fathers-day.html Bicycle! http://www.singleparentchat.net/forums/blogs/singleparentdad/4-bicycle.html Mon, 16 Jun 2008 19:47:36 GMT Thought it was about time that Michael learned to ride the bike. Aside from the obvious exercise, I think it will give him a sense of accomplishment and independence being able to ride on his own.

I did the usual research online and found one that looked "just right". I wasn't sure at first which size to get but the one I found was a 12" Mighty Tonka bike. Walmart showed $58 online while Target showed $72 online!

We made a trip to Walmart, all the while thinking in my head "please don't make the assembly a complex process!" Well, when we got there, they not only had one in stock but it was already assembled! Price $64.

The size was just right and Michael took to it immediately. He bicycled on his own down the aisles of Walmart for at least 30 minutes.

We also picked up a set of "Hot wheels" bicycle helmet, elbow, and kneepads. The kneepads turned out to be too small unfortunately. But he loved the helmet so much that we just decided to keep the set.

Now we bicycle in our cul-de-sac at least every couple of days. And I have to say that it's as much fun for me to watch him bicycling his little heart out as it is for him to chase me around on his new bike!:dance:

Picture of the Mighty 12" Tonka bike...
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]]> Singleparentdad http://www.singleparentchat.net/forums/blogs/singleparentdad/4-bicycle.html A trip to the Atlanta Zoo http://www.singleparentchat.net/forums/blogs/singleparentdad/3-trip-atlanta-zoo.html Wed, 07 May 2008 21:51:41 GMT This past sunday was a beautiful day for a day in the sun. :dy:

The night before, my 3 yr old son, Michael, and I had talked about where he wanted to go the next day. He said he wanted to go to the place where he takes his shoes off and bounces around...I had to think for a minute then realized he meant Monkey Joe's (indoor playground of inflatables). So off to bed with a promise that we'd go to Monkey Joe's the next day.

Sunday came and off to IHOP we went for some pancakes, egges, and sausages. As usual, he finished his sausages and took all of mine off my plate...sheepishly saying "thank you for sharing". :JC_cheesy:

After breakfast it was such a gorgeous day that I thought I'd give Michael a choice..Monkey Joe's or the Zoo to see animals. He chooses to go see the "amimals".

We get to the zoo and the parking lot is packed. We had to drive around for 15 minutes looking for a spot with Michael pointing to every nook and cranny saying "there's one"!

Once inside the first thing he wants to do is get ice cream! Folks smarter than I obviously strategically placed those ice cream stands right by the entrance. So we get a cup of dipping dots and proceed to the exhibits...rhinos, gorillas, lions, girraffes, elephants... Michael spends about a minute looking at each one then takes off to the next. I'm looking at other people standing there staring at each animal for what seems like an eternity and trying to lure Michael back to look at it some more! Finally I give in and let him set is own pace with me running after him down one path or another.

Then he sees something that catches his attention..the petting zoo! Despite having to navigate through the place to avoid the animal poop, it was the perfect photo op! ..the smell was obviously something else...thank goodness they had a wash stand with anitbacteria soap.

We then hit the choo choo train ride ..the carousel..the playground (with Michael saying "biggest one I ever seen!").

By this point, we were getting pretty hungry so we grab some pizza. As we are sitting there, I see other families..I look around to see if I see other kids there with just their mother or father. I don't see any but do see a lot of mothers and fathers with their kids. Seeing that shoots a slight pain through my heart..and I look over to Michael and ask him "are you having fun Michael?" He looks up at me with a huge smile and says "I love it! let's go see more jungle!". With that, he is off down another path with me doing my best to keep up... ]]> Singleparentdad http://www.singleparentchat.net/forums/blogs/singleparentdad/3-trip-atlanta-zoo.html That’s for girls… http://www.singleparentchat.net/forums/blogs/singleparentdad/2-s-girls.html Mon, 05 May 2008 16:12:29 GMT I took my son to Learning Express toy store the other day. It was the first time I had been there and was impressed with their selection of cute and interesting toys that one may not find at some of the larger toy stores. As the name implies, their selection is geared toward educational toys.:connie_41: My 3 yr old son saw a toy cash register and immediately ran for it saying “I want that”. Since I had a gift certificate I was trying to use up, I said ok. As I was taking the box off the shelf, he saw the back of the box which showed 2 girls playing with the cash register. Well, that was the end of that…immediately he says “that’s for girls”. I said to him “boys can play with it too you know”; his response was “see” as he is pointing to the picture on the box, “that’s a girl toy”. I couldn’t help but laugh! I’ve watched him as he went through his play oven and food phase and wondered if all kids had similar fascination with cooking. Now I found myself wondering if kids start to differentiate between genders at such an early age. He has started to even “distinguish” between “boy songs” and “girl songs”. I did some research and found that toddlers start to differentiate between gender around 3 yrs of age. There’s even a term for it in academia. “Studies of young children’s play preferences have established that children most often establish and maintain same-gender friendships, and play in groups composed primarily of children of their own gender, a phenomenon referred to as “gender segregation”. Gender segregation has been consistently observed in children as young as 3 years of age through adolescence with a tendency for girls to gender segregate earlier than boys.” Nobody is completely sure why it happens. Recent studies have suggested that when children learn to identify their own gender as male or female, they highly value anything associated with their gender category. Whatever the reason, I find myself in amazement as I observe and experience the development of my little boy. By the way, we ended up buying a wooden toy mailbox with different shaped wooden mail that he has to fit into the 3 different sized slots on the box… I took my son to Learning Express toy store the other day. It was the first time I had been there and was impressed with their selection of cute and interesting toys that one may not find at some of the larger toy stores. As the name implies, their selection is geared toward educational toys.:connie_41:

My 3 yr old son saw a toy cash register and immediately ran for it saying “I want that”. Since I had a gift certificate I was trying to use up, I said ok. As I was taking the box off the shelf, he saw the back of the box which showed 2 girls playing with the cash register. Well, that was the end of that…immediately he says “that’s for girls”. I said to him “boys can play with it too you know”; his response was “see” as he is pointing to the picture on the box, “that’s a girl toy”.

I couldn’t help but laugh! I’ve watched him as he went through his play oven and food phase and wondered if all kids had similar fascination with cooking. Now I found myself wondering if kids start to differentiate between genders at such an early age. He has started to even “distinguish” between “boy songs” and “girl songs”.

I did some research and found that toddlers start to differentiate between gender around 3 yrs of age. There’s even a term for it in academia.

“Studies of young children’s play preferences have established that children most often establish and maintain same-gender friendships, and play in groups composed primarily of children of their own gender, a phenomenon referred to as “gender segregation”. Gender segregation has been consistently observed in children as young as 3 years of age through adolescence with a tendency for girls to gender segregate earlier than boys.”

Nobody is completely sure why it happens. Recent studies have suggested that when children learn to identify their own gender as male or female, they highly value anything associated with their gender category.

Whatever the reason, I find myself in amazement as I observe and experience the development of my little boy.

By the way, we ended up buying a wooden toy mailbox with different shaped wooden mail that he has to fit into the 3 different sized slots on the box… ]]> Singleparentdad http://www.singleparentchat.net/forums/blogs/singleparentdad/2-s-girls.html Welcome to SingleParentChat.net Blog http://www.singleparentchat.net/forums/blogs/singleparentdad/1-welcome-singleparentchat-net-blog.html Mon, 05 May 2008 16:11:04 GMT Thanks for stopping by our blog! We are a community of single parents who’ve learned that one of the best resources as a single parent is the support of others in similar situation and position in life. My name is Frank and I am one of the administrators for the site. Like many of you, I never imagined that I would be on this life path as a single parent. And like most, it definitely was a shock initially; trying to understand why and how this happened. But as time has passed, I’ve refocused on what is really important in life…my son and ensuring that he is taught and given the life tools to be a happy and successful person in this world. Please take a few seconds to register and join us here at SingleParentChat.net. Learn, share, and laugh with us as we all traverse this journey of life. Thanks for stopping by our blog! We are a community of single parents who’ve learned that one of the best resources as a single parent is the support of others in similar situation and position in life.

My name is Frank and I am one of the administrators for the site. Like many of you, I never imagined that I would be on this life path as a single parent. And like most, it definitely was a shock initially; trying to understand why and how this happened. But as time has passed, I’ve refocused on what is really important in life…my son and ensuring that he is taught and given the life tools to be a happy and successful person in this world.

Please take a few seconds to register and join us here at SingleParentChat.net. Learn, share, and laugh with us as we all traverse this journey of life. ]]> Singleparentdad http://www.singleparentchat.net/forums/blogs/singleparentdad/1-welcome-singleparentchat-net-blog.html