Watch out a Phobia and How to Help Your Kid

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Watch out a Phobia


When anxieties and fears persist, problems can arise. As much as a parent hopes the child will grow out of it, sometimes the opposite occurs, and the cause of the anxiety looms larger and becomes more prevalent. The anxiety becomes a phobia, or a fear that's extreme, severe, and persistent.

A phobia can be very difficult to tolerate, both for kids and those around them, especially if the anxiety-producing stimulus (whatever is causing the anxiety) is hard to avoid (e.g., thunderstorms).

"Real" phobias are one of the top reasons children are referred to mental health professionals. But the good news is that unless a child's phobia hinders his or her everyday ability to function, the child sometimes won't need treatment by a professional because, in time, the phobia will be resolved.


How to Help Your Child


Parents can help children develop the skills and confidence to overcome fears so that they don't evolve into phobic reactions. Here are some steps that may help guide you in helping your child deal with his or her fears and anxieties:

• Recognize that the fear is real. As trivial as a fear may seem, it feels real to your child and it's causing him or her to feel anxious and afraid. Being able to talk about fears helps - words often take some of the power out of the negative feeling. If you talk about it, it can become less powerful.

• Never belittle the fear as a way of forcing your child to overcome it. Telling your child, "Don't be ridiculous! There are no monsters in your closet!" may get your child to go to bed, but it won't make the fear go away.

• Don't cater to fears, though. If your child doesn't like dogs, don't cross the street deliberately to avoid one. This will just reinforce that dogs should be feared and avoided. Provide support and gentle care as you approach the feared object or situation with your child.

• Teach your child how to rate fear. If your child can visualize the intensity of the fear on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the strongest, he or she may be able to "see" the fear as less intense than first imagined. Younger children can think about how "full of fear" they are, with being full "up to my knees" as not so scared, "up to my stomach" as more frightened, and "up to my head" as truly petrified.

• Teach coping strategies. Try these easy-to-implement techniques. Using you as "home base," the child can venture out toward the feared object, and then return to you for safety before venturing out again. The child can also learn some positive self-statements, such as "I can do this" and "I will be OK," which your child can say to himself or herself when feeling anxious. Relaxation techniques are helpful as well, including visualization (of floating on a cloud or lying on a beach, for example) and deep breathing (imagining that the lungs are balloons and letting them slowly deflate).



[Generated from kidshealth.org
Updated and reviewed by: D'Arcy Lyness, PhD
Date reviewed: November 2007
Originally reviewed by: David B. Sheslow, PhD]