What is discipline?
Discipline is helping children develop self-control. Discipline is setting limits and correcting misbehavior. Discipline also is encouraging children, guiding them, helping them feel good about themselves, and teaching them how to think for themselves.
What can I do to help my children feel good about themselves? 
Let them know what they are doing right, as well as about the mistakes they make. Hearing good things makes us feel good and makes us want to do more good things. Say two nice but true things to children for every time you correct them. Remember, when they are changing their behavior, tell them how well they are doing, even if they only improve just a little. "Great, you played in the playground all morning without fighting."
What do I need to do to guide them?
One thing is to set routines for bedtime, meals and chores. Routines help children feel safe, because they know what parents expect.
Young children have a hard time going from one activity to another. Warning them a few minutes ahead helps them get ready. You can say, "You have five more minutes before bedtime." Be clear about their choices. "You can have milk or juice, but you can't have soda."
Remind them of your rules. Just saying no is not enough. Children often need reminders.
How can I set limits
Here are some tips for setting limits:
- Start with only a few rules. The more rules you have, the harder it will be for your children to remember them.
- Be sure you know why you are saying no. As a parent you must keep your children healthy and safe. You must help your children learn to get along with other people. And you must stick to what you believe in. Explain your reasons for saying no. Be sure your child understands your reasons. "You cannot take your bike across town because there is too much traffic and you might get hurt."
- Give kids a voice. Kids need a voice in setting limits. They need a chance to tell you what they think and feel. Even a child of five or six can talk with you and help you set fair limits. When kids help you make rules, they are more likely to obey them. It's important to understand their point of view, but just because you listen to them does not mean that you have to agree with them and change your rules. You can set many limits together, though some may have to be set by you alone.
- Say what you mean. Be very clear about your limits. For example, state clearly the hour you want your child to be home. Say " 12 o'clock" instead of "Not too late."
Will my children like me when I set down limits? Will they think I'm a "meanie"?
Setting limits does not make you a "meanie" forever - not if you are fair. When you stick to your limits, your children may not like what you are doing. It makes sense that they might be unhappy. Try not to get upset. It only makes things worse.
Accept their feelings, but stick to your limits. For example, say, "It is hard to leave when you are having so much fun, but it is time to go." Fair limits show that you care. If you set limits by yourself that are unfair and too strict, your children will try to get back at you. If you do not set any limits, your children will push and push until someone sets a limit for them, maybe even a school principal or a policeman.
[From kidsource.com,
Marilyn E. Gootman, Ed.D., teaches early childhood education at the University of Georgia and is the mother of three children.
How to Teach Your Children Discipline is published by the National Committee to Prevent Child Abuse, 332 S. Michigan Avenue, Suite 1600, Chicago, IL 60604.]
How to Teach Your Children Discipline I (by M.E. Gootman, Ed.D.)
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